As I mentioned in a previous post, I was recently diagnosed with melanoma on my back. The experience has brought forward a number of emotions.
- Fear about the surgery itself and my future with skin issues
- Frustration at the timing. Just a month and 1/2 before my wedding and during a pivotal period in my career. I will have to limit my physical activity and be away from the kitchen I manage
- Regret that I caused this from years of too much sun exposure or living in high anxiety
Over the past few days I’ve found myself speaking about the surgery and the whole experience in very negative ways. How annoyed I am that I will not be able to work out, how the scar will be bigger than I thought, that I have to be awake for the surgery, etc.
During a session with my therapist/biofeedback practitioner, he said something that stuck with me.
He said that we can never predict what life will bring us, the key is how we handle what we’re given. In times like this, we have the opportunity to increase our resiliency and our courage. Thus when we’re faced with other hard times, we can handle them better. It’s through struggles that we grow stronger.
He said he knew that the timing of this is unfortunate but that this will not be the last time I have to deal with that – the timing of things often feels less than ideal. But I have the opportunity to grow here, instead of wallow.
This rang so true to me – I feel that in my past, I’ve preached to people how much we can grow through difficult times, but in this instance I was completely ignoring my own advice and allowing myself to be really down in the dumps.
I have the opportunity here to increase my resiliency, to prove to myself that I can adapt to what life throws at me and not loose my cool; that I can recognize the ways this experience will be beneficial to me in the end.
So today I’m making a promise that I will change my attitude. I will view this experience in a positive light. I will consider the possible reasons this was brought into my life.
- as a reminder of the value of life – how grateful I should be that I caught this early
- as a sign that I should make a change to my daily practices/exercise routines – walk / meditate more
- as a note from above that I have control of my life, how I view the world, what I learn from difficult times, and overall how I grow as a human being
I will use this experience to increase my resiliency, to gain peace around what life brings my way, and to strengthen my soul.
glow & flow,